LISTENING FROM THE HEART
Originally published in The Mancos Times – May 16, 2012
In my listening to others – to myself as well – I often hear how we are upset, disappointed, angry, sad, how we at times become consumed with negative feelings and thoughts that seem to get replayed in our minds over and over again. We know this is not healthy but it seems we just cannot help ourselves with this. We talk to friends, therapists, ourselves, and our progress with moving forward just seems to stall. We get busy “doing” and the pain subsides only to resurface again when we become still, causing us to be busy again or just running off to “buy our way” into happiness with toys and “nice to have” things, or worst of all “picking an argument with another” to distract us from our inherent uneasiness.
I have found that my reactions to “issues” were greatly exacerbated by a number of “elephants in the room” for me. Often my apparent upset to any given action by another, by myself as well, was only my background problem surfacing and disguising itself into this unrelated area at times with my making mountains of mole hills, with serious unattended to problems, transferring into and infecting yet another area of my life.
It is no secret to those who read my writings that I am on a mission seeking contribution, joy, serenity and harmony, for myself and for those whom I touch and those who touch me as well. Frankly I have been working on this in parallel with the book I am writing (a romantic novel of a couple who learn how to live life most “enlivened” to the age of 120 years). So this journey has been going on in earnest for nearly six years now. I have been on a very intentional path with being proactive with my health and cleaning up my life with fundamental problematic areas that have included fitness, financial stewardship and the sincere nurturing of others.
I am pleased to say a number of former issues with financials, relationships, physical fitness, nutrition, peace of mind, and having fun have advanced to unprecedented positive levels for me. And yes, I must confess my writings, my coachings, my pro bono “Action for Traction” programs have helped me mature as well. So, thank you to all who have encouraged and motivated me to continue with my adventure journey here. Thank you to all who have opened up their hearts to me so that we could share our collective minds for improvement. No single action has been more powerful for me, however, than to face the “elephants” straight on and begin a strategic elephant eradication program one bite at a time, one bullet at a time as well (or for me, often, one BB at a time), with a wise plan for keeping them in my line of fire until they are well out of my life.
So what of all that angst, self-recrimination or self-righteousness that faces many of us? Perhaps you might just want to start knocking out those elephants in your life, and yes, first of all stop traveling the river of denial. Be brave and honest with yourselves by being objective with what your “elephants” are. Take ownership in developing a strategy to transcend beyond them. Make your own path and move forward with it. Be the masters of your ship and let go of being victims of the world and people around you. As we get physically healthy, mentally healthy, financially healthy and relationship healthy we find that simple values such as integrity, being our word and appreciating the grandness about us everywhere we go, can be more than enough in bringing us the peace and happiness we seek. Let us get beyond a need for approval, let us get beyond being better than another to prove our worth, or needing the acceptance by others to validate our identity. Let us need only approve and accept ourselves, with our contribution, integrity, empathy and selflessness, all this with an abundance mentality.
Happy hunting my friends.
Michael Starr is the owner of Executive Coaching Services. He can be reached at www.executivecoachingservices.net or by calling 501-585-1302.