LISTENING FROM THE HEART
Originally published in The Mancos Times – May 9, 2012
In my listening to others, myself as well, perhaps one of the most frequent comments I hear revolves around the desire to improve one’s circumstances. To improve relationships, to improve our financial or health position, to improve our work or home life, to improve our peace, joy and sense of purpose. As a mentor, coach, sounding board for others, I have come to see that there is a synergy needed to ensure success. That synergy must come from having both a sound “S” – strategy and a strong “M” – motivation.
First and foremost, there must be a burning desire, a “M”otivation to better one’s life. Unfortunately, it often takes a Significant Emotional Event (S.E.E.) to get to this point. For an alcoholic, it may be the loss of a job, or incarceration, or loss of family. For someone with poor life style habits, perhaps it’s a heart attack, onset of Type II diabetes or other serious health condition. For someone being irresponsible with their finances, it may take a bankruptcy to motivate them. For someone being lackadaisical with their job, they may need to be terminated. Ideally this motivation occurs proactively and preempts a tragic life setback to achieve a life change. Hopefully we develop a determination as a result of realizing what is very important for ourselves and the ones we love. In any case, little can improve without this motivation, this determination to better our plight.
However difficult it may be for someone to get to the point where they are ready to change and take control of their lives, once they get there, the likelihood for any significant progress is very much predicated upon the “S”trategy they choose and execute next. It is equally important to be responsible for our change, not by seeing ourselves as victims but as masters of our fate, with an intentionality in charting and navigating a new course for ourselves. The alcoholic that loses everything may yet continue to fail and fall down unless they decide to get proper help and support as is available through organizations like AA (Alcoholic’s Anonymous). The overweight and out of shape individual may need to seek out and enroll the assistance of a capable personal trainer, nutritionist and doctor. The individual who wishes to start a company that will address their dream work, perhaps will seek out mentors who have succeeded in the same or similar business and develop their own tailored business plan.
My experience has shown me that willpower alone is rarely enough to achieve an important goal, or dream or desire. “M”otivation with a wise sound “S”trategy however, is a near guarantee for success. So when you are ready to make the effort and make this improvement a priority, so as to achieve your goal, your dream, your need, please do develop a sound “S”trategy as an architect does develop a sound blueprint for the grand bridge to soon be constructed. Seek out proven mentors. Do your research and design your own bridge to take you to your Shangri-La. And please find ways to enjoy that journey with integrity, fun and confidence along the way.