In Chapter 8, desire power was discussed as a means for having and maintaining self-motivation. Desire power is the propellant that provides the impetus for our ongoing efforts to seek more good and less bad in our lives with our practice of Betterism. Desire power goes hand in hand with an “I want to” mindset instead of an obligatory “I need to” perspective. As the self-motivation maestro, we call upon different instruments to enhance our desire power at different times in our lives. When Being the Self-Motivation Maestro, we take ownership and responsibility for maintaining our self-motivation. This section provides ideas and practices for actions that can nurture your self-motivation.
There are two types of self-motivation: aspirational and avoidance. With aspirational self-motivation, we seek to achieve something in the future, such as an enhanced relationship, wealth, physical fitness, financial independence, or peace of mind. Aspirational self-motivation pulls us forward with a draw of excitement and a sense of achievement. On the other hand, with avoidance motivation, we seek to avoid certain things in the present or future, such as poor health, fear, bankruptcy, divorce, job loss, etc. This pushes us from behind and has us taking action to move away from it. Both of these types of motivations are important.
To be successful as a self-motivation maestro, it is essential to have a daily practice in place that will support this. One such practice is covered in the “Marvelous Start Morning Routine” Worksheet. This routine includes ISTEP (Intentional Simple Tiny Efforts for Progress) planned actions selected each morning to be accomplished later that day. One recommended ISTEP activity that may be selected each morning would be to plan an action for that day that nurtures your self-motivation.
Self-motivation is The Fuel That Powers You Forward
No matter how well-designed a rocket is, how valuable its payload may be, and how accurate and reliable its guidance system may be … this is all for naught if the fuel does not stay burning. Perhaps the most essential aspect of being the self-motivation maestro is to commit to daily ISTEP plans with action for maintaining self-motivation. Your self-motivation is the fuel that powers you forward each day. These daily efforts are critical for achieving and sustaining peace of mind and success with ourselves and others.
Some recommendations for being the self-motivation maestro:
1. Design a sustainable Marvelous Start Morning Routine as detailed in the “Marvelous Start Morning Routine” Worksheet.
2. As part of your Marvelous Start Morning Routine, select at least one self-motivational action to complete that day (examples listed in this section). These actions can either be aspirational, avoidance, or both. Make these self-motivational actions Intentional, Simple, and Tiny (ISTEPs).
3. Design a mantra you can repeat throughout the day that will call to you and inspire you. One example might be, “I am the Self-motivation Maestro, and I will continue to find ways to stay motivated each day.”
4. Make self-motivation one of your 10 Convictions, as detailed in Chapter 14. If selected as one of your ten convictions, you may come to believe that self-motivation is the life blood and life energy for achieving important desires.
5. Identify the times of day and circumstance when you are most productive and attentive, and consider doing your self-motivation activity then. Remember that your self-motivation gets you off the launch pad and into the air, where your guidance system can steer you toward making the desired improvements.
6. Have goals that are important to you and review them daily. Destinations and the vision for progressing toward them give life and meaning to your journey. The meaning of life is to have meaning. We must take responsibility for deciding what gives us purpose and pursue that; we may choose to become an expert at quilting or a volunteer mentor for at-risk teens. Your meaning need not be monumental or some grand legacy accomplishment … it needs to be meaningful for you.
Examples of some self-motivation activities
Strive to MISS (Make It Simple and Streamlined):
Remember that to assist or help others; you must first have your house in order and take care of your peace of mind and personal healing. Select an action that makes progress here.
Anticipate an unavoidable interaction with a person you find toxic or upsetting, then decide and rehearse a strategy for civilly disengaging from them.
Limit exposure to toxic and negative information like television news or social media.
Limit your involvement with petty conversations that diminish others.
Listen to music that is relaxing or nurturing.
Fill your heart with compassion toward someone you love, like, or do not like … keep in mind both NOOT (Natural Order Of Things) and the EBC Symbiotic 3 (Empathy, Boundaries, Consequences).
Help someone to feel good about themselves.
Take action to work on a meaningful relationship, keeping in mind the Relationship Trinity as it relates to your areas of responsibility (See Chapter 12).
Celebrate another’s success and be happy for them.
Take action to address existing debt concerns.
Make reservations for a relaxing and fun weekend getaway.
Do a random, selfless action that benefits another.
Remind yourself that you will likely find what you seek, good or bad. Seek the good.
Find quiet time for reflection, meditation, or savoring something from the past, present, or future.
Review one of your ten convictions several times throughout the day.
Remind yourself of the importance of the Platinum Rule: treating others how they wish to be treated, which implies we must understand them to know how they wish to be treated or spoken to.
Work on improving your relationship listening skills; see Chapter 15.
Plan time outdoors in nature, as in a garden, park, or forest.
Contact someone you haven’t spoken with for a while and sincerely let them know you care about and admire them.
Actively pursue eliminating long-held animosity toward another by “Being the Exorcist,” as detailed in Chapter 13.
Pursue actions with a fun hobby today
Take action that will support getting a good night’s sleep.
Repeat your self-motivation mantra frequently throughout the day, such as “I will find a way” or one taught in Dale Carnegie training: “If I act enthusiastically, I will be enthusiastic.” Another mantra is, “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” You can put a dot or small sticker on your watch or smartphone as a reminder to repeat this mantra each time you look at the dot or sticker.
Throughout the day, practice Chapter 21, “Being the Savoring Breath.” Use it proactively, as with your morning routine, and reactively when you feel upset or stressed.
Listen to a motivational audio book or recording.
Schedule Exercise at the gym or time to go for a daily walk.
Hire a personal trainer today.
Hire a life coach today.
Hire a therapist today.
Improve your diet by limiting sugar or alcohol or drinking more water. Set a target and track it, such as how much water you drink daily.
Conduct a food fast for several hours.
If you are so inclined, pray during the day.
Be mindful of using wise, empowering language in a particular circumstance, such as at a meeting or phone call scheduled for today.
Review your commitment to using the FUSS log (Follow-Up Setback System) and why this is important.
Hold your Week in Review Session religiously as itemized in Conducting a “Week In Review Session.”
Schedule your month and week to include motivational activities. These activities might include exercise, an AA or Al-Anon or NA meeting, or a therapist meeting. You might also consider visiting a venue, sports event, concert, or outdoor activities such as hiking or kayaking. Occasionally set goals for exciting adventures like climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro or an overnight canoe trip down the river.
Make commitments to others with what you will do to hold yourself accountable.
Congratulate and reward yourself with an accomplishment, and celebrate successes, even if they are small ones.
Read an inspiring or informative book or article for ___ minutes that day.
Call and speak to an empowering individual who believes in you.
Focus on under promising and over delivering with a specific commitment.
Research ways to achieve an important goal.
Review and add to your gratitude list.
Schedule a time to talk to your sponsor or coach (if you have one).
Make an effort to uplift another who may be going through a difficult time (for example, send them an encouraging greeting card or schedule a get-together with them).
Post a 3×5 card with a motivational quote you will see throughout the day.
Read a motivational quote.
Address a concern, such as a suspected health issue, by scheduling a doctor’s visit.
Establish or review one of your EBC Symbiotic 3 focuses for Empathy, Boundaries & Consequences.
Select a productive and creative time of day and leverage it for accomplishing an important activity.
Read a religious book such as the Bible, Quran, or Tanakh.
Journal regarding Empathy and compassion for another through a better understanding of why they became who they became.
Schedule some fun activities for yourself and others.
Schedule handling some nagging issues like taking the car in for a tire change or making a plan for having a difficult conversation that may be confronting for another.
Follow through with commitments by reviewing your schedule or a commitment list.
Remind yourself of the importance of saying “no” to new obligations you may not be able to accomplish; plan on writing down all potential commitments you agree to today.
Review your “10 Convictions” Creed (see Chapter 14).
Review key language words for empowerment and progress for yourself.
Post an inspiring and empowering message on social media such as Facebook.
Remind yourself that success breeds success. Create a success today and then celebrate the accomplishment.
Watch an educational YouTube on a subject you are curious about.
Remind yourself that by focusing on the process, the appropriate outcome will follow.
… and many more.
List ten possible self-motivation activities you may do throughout the upcoming week:
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Immerse yourself as much as reasonably possible with positive things that raise your spirits and excitement for better things to come. Review the Consequences of not addressing a fear, upset, or concern. To keep you grounded and focused on self-motivation, consider included a fear factor. Use the concept of durinfre (Duration, Intensity, and Frequency of occurrence) to gauge your progress.
Remember that it is your responsibility to motivate yourself and that this is done daily through action. Plan self-motivational actions and follow through with them 100% of the time. Incorporate a daily habit of being the Self-Motivation Maestro.
“If it’s to be, it’s up to me.”
You can do this!!